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A Hisstory

by The Rhythm Section

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1.
Henry Horror 03:42
lyrics
henry horror has a most alternative lifestyle he stays at home pretending he's a scaly green reptile in his room he sits alone and draws the windowshades he looks up pics of lizards and begins to hallucinate he says, "whoa oh oh, if i were, a snake then that'd be cool just my snake friends and i hangin by the slithering pool" poor henry horror imagines snakes in all he sees but it breaks our heart to tell him that they're all just fantasies henry horror and his herpetological fantasies henry horror sleeps at night in a snakeskin bed with a knitted anaconda wrapped around his head in his dreams he slithers with his friends the komodos we wonder why he does it even the doctors do not know he says, "whoa oh oh, if i were, a snake then that'd be cool just my snake friends and i hangin by the slithering pool" poor henry horror imagines snakes in all he sees but it breaks our heart to tell him that they're all just fantasies henry horror and his herpetological fantasies henry horror leaves his house for the nearest zoo it’s the first time he’s been outside since nineteen sixty two he hops on the southbound bus and grabs an empty seat he formulates a sort of plan to set his brethren free he says, "whoa oh oh, if i were, a snake then that'd be cool just my snake friends and i hangin by the slithering pool" poor henry horror imagines snakes in all he sees but it breaks our heart to tell him that they're all just fantasies henry horror and his herpetological fantasies
2.
The Glass Tank 03:29
lyrics
yes boy come a little closer to the glas boy i can tell you’re one of us boy a snake like us except you’re free dear boy things aren’t as they appear boy we’re not really trapped in here boy it’s really you needs help from me don’t you know that snakes are tricky little rakes and you’re liable to get bitten but if you take our dare we’ll take you anywhere from the look in your eyes, i see you’re smitten nice boy you don’t have to think twice boy let us guide to paradise boy renounce all the bourgeois sweet boy what a lovely pair of feet boy come and join the elite boy the cult of king kobra don’t you know that snakes if they want something, they take and now you’ll help us to break the glass if you help us out we’ll know without a doubt that you’re fit to join the serpent class join the cult join the cult oh oh king kobra rise again oh oh king kobra ‘til the end good boy you’ve done the best you could boy but now it’s understood boy you’ve made a great mistake thanks boy for letting us out of this tank boy now i’m going to be frank boy you should never trust a snake join the cult join the cult oh oh king kobra rise again oh oh king kobra ‘til the end
3.
Patrolman Pat 02:49
lyrics
well i’ve been zoo security guard since 1955 and never have animals gotten loose well there was an armadillo back in 1961 and in 1968 there was a goose those two were just exceptions to a very solid rule: that patrolman pat is always there animals in their cages are the only things I see and i assure you these rumors are just a scare sir let me confide in you that I sometimes have my doubts about my ability to guard the zoo but then i stop and look around and you know i am inspired by this wondrous animal kingdom built by you now i hear you’ve heard some other guards have heard about the snakes and you needn’t take the news with any salt indeed it seems the snakes are free and taking over the zoo but i assure you sir, it’s not my fault my name’s patrolman pat and as sure as i am of that my men will bring these snakes back to their tanks yes i’m patrolman pat and I will eat my hat if i can’t get them back and win your thanks alright men here’s the plan we’ll split in teams of five we’ll each go in a cardinal direction you, you, you, and you with me, we’ll head towards the north break into their nest without detection the five of us, we’re alpha team, we’ll see if we can find a leader at the heart of the revolution we’ll apprehend the troublemaker, everyone grab tasers we’ll see if we can find a good solution but just in case we don’t come back all of you be ready after all, total war’s a possibility snakes are venomous creatures and they're unafraid to bite so prepare for all sorts of hostility get ready men, this won’t be pretty, some of us will die but i’ve got utmost faith in all of you when it comes to me of course, patrolman pat, the head zookeep i’m willing to give my life for this zoo my name’s patrolman pat and as sure as i am of that my men will bring these snakes back to their tanks yes i’m patrolman pat and I will eat my hat if i can’t get them back and win your thanks
4.
King Kobra Rise Again 04:18
lyrics
oh oh king kobra rise again oh oh king kobra ‘til the end oh oh king kobra oh oh king kobra rise again oh oh king kobra ‘til the end oh oh king kobra king kobra that’s what they call me i am king kobra serpentine and full of charm ‘til i cause you grievous harm king kobra king kobra i am king kobra king kobra do you understand i’m king kobra that slimy legless newt that first tempted eve with fruit king kobra king kobra i am king kobra oh oh king kobra rise again oh oh king kobra ‘til the end oh oh king kobra king kobra a god am i for i am king kobra the now and always king who rules over everything king kobra king kobra i am king kobra king kobra even the heavens bow to king kobra for me the stars align and then i take what’s mine king kobra king kobra i am king kobra oh oh king kobra rise again oh oh king kobra ‘til the end oh oh king kobra king kobra i’m taking what is mine king kobra supreme lord serpentine the world is back within our grasp itself with us entwined
5.
Henry Horror (Reprise) 04:59
lyrics
henry horror look at this see what you’ve done you fool you broke the glass and forced us under king kobra’s horrid rule all thanks to you the human race is made up of snake slaves you broke the glass and now we’re all headed to our graves he says, “whoa oh oh what have i done? all my life i thought snakes were fun now i see that it was a lie i’ll lead the rebellion though i fear i will die” henry horror and his horrible inadequacies henry horror rallies a crowd of human men they make a plan to break into king kobra’s den they grab whatever makeshift weapons they find henry horror grabs an axe and leads them in a line he says, “whoa oh oh what have i done? all my life i thought snakes were fun now i see that it was a lie i’ll lead the rebellion though i fear i will die” henry horror and his horrible inadequacies they break into the white house that kobra’s commandeered it’s filled with mamba mercenaries just as they feared a brave man becomes a martyr so that the path is free as he’s riddled with bullets he thinks of his family he says, “whoa oh oh what have i done? all my life i thought snakes were fun now i see that it was a lie i’ll lead the rebellion though i fear i will die” henry horror and his horrible inadequacies they reach the oval office where king kobra waits henry horror raises his axe but he hesitates suddenly henry’s men are killed by kobra’s hired guns king kobra coils ‘round him and says, “don’t you try and run” he says, “whoa oh oh what have i done? all my life i thought snakes were fun now i see that it was a lie i’ll lead the rebellion though i fear i will die” henry horror and his horrible inadequacies henry horror i’ve got you now my tail’s wrapped around you you saved me from that wretched tank i’ll admit that much is true but now i’m going to kill you and eat your remains i won’t stop ‘til all the world is choked with serpent’s chains he says, “whoa oh oh what have i done? all my life i thought snakes were fun now i see that it was a lie i’ll lead the rebellion though i fear i will die” henry horror and his horrible inadequacies henry horror’s face turns blue as he runs out of air king kobra tightens up on him gives him a deathly stare henry horror cannot breathe as no air fills his lungs the last thing henry horror sees is king kobra’s giant tongue he said “whoa oh oh what have i done? all my life i thought snakes were fun” henry horror made the world’s biggest mistake he got what he deserved for trusting in a snake henry horror and his horrible inadequacies
6.
The Conqueror Worm 02:39
lyrics
the worm the conqueror worm that comes for all men in death he waits as you lay dying ensures you draw your last breath king kobra the champion snake now holds the world as it turns because after everything a snake is just another worm the conqueror worm in the form of a snake takes back what is his all things in the end belong to the snake that’s simply how the world is and if you ever try to fight back for love or for family you will find in due time that you are history worm henry horror didn’t stand a chance against the snakes he was destined to die he saw snakes in everything and in death he’ll see them too the great snake in the sky what happened to the cobra after the fact it is a mystery but the story just told is the deadliest truth it is a history

credits

released July 17, 2011

Alex - writing, bass, vocals
Avi - editing, drums, procrastinating

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United Uncle Records New York, New York

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